my own advice

last night i wrote a little note to one of my best friends.
it was funny how the note came out, like word vomit.
but not in a disgusting way.
in a lovely way.
sometimes i should just take my own advice.

be bold and courageous in all you do.
love the lord your God.
love men in all teh small ways.
learn to get by on little victories (okay, Matt Nathanson gave me that one!)
find energy in a little jig.
use your weakness' as if they were strengths.
give up things you are good at for your passions.
don't let cultures interfere with your ethics.
also, don't let ethics interfere with love.
see Him in all, even your worries.
serve until it makes you sick.
sing until your voicebox squeaks.
give it all you have.
love forever and always.
love in all ways.

Cal I for Ny A

I am not so happy about the fact that the last time I wrote on this blog - a million years ago - I was wondering what I'd be doing after graduation in May. And I still am. Awesome.

I've come to the conclusion that God is teaching me to chill out and be patient. And by the way - when God is teaching you to be patient, he makes you wait and extra long time. Way longer than I would have had to wait if I would have just learned to be good at being patient.

Also, I'm mad right now. BECAUSE, Wendy just went to see Wicked tonight. Without me! Ugh. This is exactly the fourth time I have missed an opp to see it. No fair, no fair, no fair.

But, tomorrow I will be in the wonderful world of California - away from this pit hole we call Oklahoma. Grand. Lovely. I'm so happy! It is going to be lovely. Beached whales for life!

Last night I went grocery shopping and I decided to buy natural peanut butter. I hear everywhere that it is more healthy for you. But everyone always tells me it's nasty. Well, you are all wrong. I LOVE IT! Mmm...it's just not as loaded with sugar. Which is fine by me. Less sugar is never a bad thing.

This past weekend I went to the circus. Gamma Banquet was goign to the circus! I know, right...a bunch of college kids hanging out at a circus. You'd be suprised to know how many have never been to a circus. And the last time I went I was probably 7. My favorite parts: the elephants! and also the acrobats that fly on the trapezes as well as the ones who crawl up and down the ropes.

This week is a little more low key...which is nice.

But that means I need to start researching. I need to figure out what in the world I am going to do once I graduate in may. Many options loom in my head. But I have no idea which one to choose.

And of course when I talk to people I get many different reactions for each one. Meaning this is grown up decision I have to make all on my own. Scary, huh?

Good thing I have God to pray to and come before.
Seriously, I don't know how people get through even the day to day without that.

Table for Two by Caedmon's Call

cause you knew how you'd save me
before i fell dead in the garden
you knew this day long before you made me me out of dirt
and you know the plans you have for me
and you can't plan the ends
when I plan the means
and so i suppose i just need some peace
just to get me to sleep

Pensamientos

Although there are many reasons to be annoyed with Starbucks, I am very happy there is a Starbucks basically on our campus. Because it means I can be somewhere off campus, drinking coffee, doing homework, and using internet for free. What better deal?

It is funny how much I hate homework, but when I get to write or read about things that I'm passionate about, it doesn't even feel like homework, and I'm usually inclined to skip fun events, just to keep going and digging. A passionate, never ending process of learning and creating is probably my most favorite thing it the world.

Every day I realize how much my last semester studying abroad influences who I am today, and influences why I strive to keep learning and digging. I can no longer lead a life of satisfaction and comfort and getting by. Now I want to understand, I want to make changes, I want to create, I want to be involved, because there is so much to experience in this world. The even cooler thing is that Heaven is going to be unexplainably so much better than this. I can't even imagine that - but it makes me pee my pants in excitement and laughter. God is fabulous. How can anyone deny that? If they do - they are completely denyign themselves.

Anyways, I'm working on this project right now , expanidng a paper I did on these Spanish ballads, and it's expanidng into this passion for exploring view points and social justice, and foreign affairs.

And I've never thought about grad school - but recently I discovered this master of arts program in social justice in foreign affairs - how cool is that?!

So I'm starting a list of options after school...I seriously have this file on my computer called "When I grow up..." and I've been writing down everything. Silly to serious...easy to impossible.

I love when God uses minds - and it's awesome that I finally feel like he's making me a bit creative.

Roy Rhodes called me brilliant the other day. ROY RHODES. I mean this is the guy that always has a great idea, and no one can compete with. He told me I should write a book. Maybe I will.

Anyways - I find that in struggle I flourish my best. Maybe that's why I decided I never want to live a life of comfort. People always say be careful what you pray for because God answers prayer. Well I'm thankful for that. And I'll gladly pray for suffering because it is when I am the most happy. Ironic huh?

Mom, I'm just sorry that it mostly ends up being you who listens to me whine about it all. But that's why you're my mom - God knew I was gonna need that. And I love you more than you could ever know (although I'm sure you do know, because you love me unconditionally, and what more could I ask for)?

exams

someone PLEASE tell me why i need to know what anthrapamorphized is?
and why in the world I would care?
I mean I know what it is...but I don't care!
I mean...really....who cares about The Jataka and the little wise monkey?
NO THANKS!

New Facebook Status: Ashleigh HATES cancer.
It destroys everything.
And is completely not fair.
And don't tell me that life is not fair.
That won't help.